As I was driving out of my neighborhood one sunny Sunday afternoon, I passed the home of Matt Milligan. He was working in the yard, so as any passer-buyer would do, I gave him a whistle. He looked up, I stopped, and we exchanged some short banter. He said, “You need to update your blog.” That was a few days ago. In the past few days, I have sat down to write a new weblog, but couldn’t find anything interesting to write about. Well you all can brace yourselves now, because there has been some excitement worthy of Internet documentation.
This morning, I got up and differentiated some equations. That’s the news. Isn’t that exciting?!? Just kidding. That isn’t the news. Around 12:30, I received a call from my lovely wife, and she was distraught. She was bawling, and said, “Eric, I did something stupid.” My first thought was that she got in a car accident; luckily, that wasn’t it. You see, she takes a class from WSU Vancouver on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so she has to drive down there. She does really well in college and is really smart (more on that later), but today she had a slip of the mind. On her way home, while driving on I-5, something happened. Her laptop—which she left on the roof of the car accidentally—slid off and fell into the highway. Just about everyone has accidentally left something on the roof of their car and drove off: a gas cap, a drink, child, etc. If you haven’t, you will. When she called to tell me, I didn’t even get mad at her. I was pretty impressed with how I handled it, actually. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I probably deserve the “Husband of the Day Award.” It's very prestigious.
Luckily, Amber was in the left lane when the Mac jumped ship, so the computer fell into the grassy area between north and south bound; at least that is what Amber thought. All she knew is that it slipped off before exit 11. After driving back through that stretch of road, she couldn’t locate it and didn’t want to stop on the side of the freeway. She had to get to work, so I, husband of the day, drove down to the area where she thought it might be and I went hunting. After a few passes, I couldn’t see it either. I decided I would stop and walk around to locate it. At this point, I didn’t care if it was broken; I just wanted to make sure no one else got it in case it did still work. There is some sensitive information in that thing.
Then, a miracle happened. I found the laptop. We always carry our laptops in little sleeve cases, and I believe it saved this particular Mac because… IT STILL WORKS! (At this point, I would like to take the opportunity to praise Apple computers and rag on PCs, but I can’t. When I used to be in a certain band, we flipped our van and trailer at about 55 mph and my Dell flew out into the middle of the highway and was fine. So I guess in the “falling at highway speeds” category, Macs and PCs tie.) Without the case, I believe the laptop would have come open and been smashed to pieces. Keep in mind; this is the older Macbook that has the white plastic casing. As you can see below, the case has some holes in it now, and the computer is a bit scuffed up. Not bad though, considering...
I have to say, the whole situation reminded me of when my brother Andy ran over my Fender Jazzmaster guitar. I watched it happen. I still get sick to my stomach when I think about it, and I think Andy does too. That was a miracle too, because it was also in a case, and he ran over it in such a way that I only had to replace the bridge. After fixing it, I sold it to some sucker in Texas. In my ebay description, I said, “The case is pretty beat up, but the guitar is in great condition. Isn’t that what cases are for?” I had to do my best to get the tire mark off of the case.
So here is what I learned from the events of today:
1. God can use a laptop, a highway, and little old Eric Lemiere to perform a small miracle.
2. Always transport a laptop in a case of some sort.
3. I can drive pretty well using only my peripheral vision. (I had to because I was looking at the side of the road while driving)
4. I love my wife… a lot. I didn’t really learn this today, but I was reminded. At a time where I could have gotten really mad at the possibility of losing a thousand bucks and a lot of info, I found myself feeling really caring for her and nothing else. Sounds like a “duh” moment, but I really like the fact that I love my wife this much even when she makes a potentially costly mistake. (This does not mean, however, that you can continue to leave used q-tips on the bathroom counter, Amber. Throw them away!)
I think I will take this opportunity to refer back to my comment about Amber being a smarty pants in school. She recently wrote a paper about literature, and her instructor was very impressed. So impressed, in fact, that she wrote things in the margins like “Yes! Great Point!” and “Beautiful” and “Wow” and “Excellent analysis.” The paper apparently even gave the instructor chills when she read it. Here is what was written at the end of the paper:
“You absolutely have to pursue a graduate degree – I think I’ve said that maybe twice in my teaching career before now. The ideas you discuss in this paper could easily be ground-breaking work.”
Amber is really proud of the compliment, but felt like she couldn’t tell anyone without sounding conceited. So, unbeknownst to her, I am telling you all. I’m proud of her too.
Matt Milligan wants an update. Amber throws computer at I-5. Husband of the Day finds said computer dirty, but in working order. Use a case. I love my wife, who breaks literary ground. The long awaited end.
(I hope this holds you over for a while, Mr. Milligan’s Island)