The 6-D's

There are a few quick stories I want to share with you readers today; some are heart warming, and some are heart wrenching. Ok, so there is really only one that is the latter, but prepare yourself nonetheless. I like that word: nonetheless. It’s like three words in one. It’s like the trinity. It’s like a good face wash. It’s like a nail clipper. This is a tangent.

D-1: Dogs

The first story is of two of my favorite people in the world: Buster and Murdok. My mom told me a story about these two fellas that brought joy to my heart. The PUD meter reader came up to—you guessed it—read the meter, and she told my mom that she loves coming to the house because she loves the boys. She said that they are so nice that the other meter readers actually talk about how they too love reading my parents meter, simply for the chance to rub the ears of two of the sweetest dogs (I mean, people) in the world. I love those guys, and apparently so do a lot of other people. I don’t know a single person that has anything bad to say about them.Why can’t all Christians be like them?

D-2: Dash

The next two stories are about my nephew, Dash. He had a big birthday bash today, and unfortunately Amber and I were unable to attend. I do know, however, that Dash will love me nonetheless (there it is again). Andy recapped a conversation between Dash and Kaeden to me the other day that went something like this:

Kaeden: Dash, who do you like better…

Dash: Eric.

Before Kaeden could even get the rest of the question out, Dash already knew that he liked me better. That warms my heart. It’s the same feeling as when he tells me out of the blue that he loves me “so much.”

D-3: Divorce

The next story about Dash is the heart wrencher. To preface this, Kaeden is often called Kaedster in the Lemiere house, and Dash can’t quite say Blackmon yet, so he says Backman. A few nights ago, I was playing some Nerf basketball with Dash down in Andy’s basement while Amber and Andy were chatting away. Dash and I were having a good time, giggling and the like, when all of the sudden Dash had a complete mood change. His face dropped as he looked at me and said, “I like Kaedster Backman.” Tears welled up in my eyes, because on this particular night, Kaeden was not staying at Andy’s house. I knew Dash was really saying that he missed his brother and wished he were playing Nerf ball with us. I picked Dash up and he rested his head on my shoulder. He just turned 3, but he already knows the unfairness of being away from his big brother. It is so hard to see families bifurcated by divorce, especially when there are youngsters. I’m so tired of our culture thinking that LOVE is a feeling, rather than an action. This story continues to break my heart.

D-4: Decrease

I knew that last story would be tough to read—at least, it was hard for me to write—which is why I put it in the middle. That way you ease into it with some good stories, and now can ease out of it with some better stories. This story is about Amber’s grandpa Bob. You may have read in a previous blog that he has cancer in the brain, but there is good news: the tumor is shrinking and everyone is very hopeful. We are not out of this one yet, but this is certainly great news for the family. We all appreciate the prayers.

D-5: Dean’s List

Speaking of Amber, she got a 4.0 this last semester at WSU. She would probably never share this info with most of you out of her humility, which is why I get to share it for her with whomever reads this. You can be proud; I am.

D-6: Disillusion

The last D of the 6D’s has more of a philosophical undertone to it. Amber and I are currently on a weekend getaway at Eagle Crest Resort (thanks Todd), and we seem to be somewhat fashionable for these parts. We went to a movie in Bend, and the lady bifurcating the ticket stubs told us we were just the cutest couple and proceeded to compliment our styles (whatever those are). Later, as we were walking along the sidewalk in downtown Bend, a couple girls walked by and commented to one another about how cute Amber’s purse was. I was feeling pretty good about myself and the arm-candy that accompanied me, when I saw my reflection in a large storefront window, and all was lost. As stated in previous blogs, I am a critical perfectionist, so it wasn’t hard for me to see an extremely large handful of imperfections in the way I looked. This brings me to a question that I’ve been asking myself for a while now: would you be more insecure about your appearance if you never saw your reflection, or if you saw it multiple times a day like you do now? I don’t know the answer. You probably don’t either. It’s cud to chew on though.

All these short stories turned out to compile a pretty long blog. I hope if you read this far, you considered it at least somewhat worthwhile. I think I will end this in sort of a Sesame Street way:

This blog was brought to you by the words Nonetheless and Bifurcate, and also by the number 4.0. Thanks for reading.

D-End (I couldn’t resist).

Below is a video of Dash in his Halloween costume. You may have already seen it on Andy's blog...

Urinal Yearnings

Since Amber and I bought our house and began fixing it up a bit, I have been making a list of things that we would want if we were to ever build our own place. Some of these things are pretty typical for new homes, and some are a bit more eccentric. I like to think that Amber and I are somewhat creative people, so the idea of building a house can at times get me excited. I can’t tell you all of our ideas, since they are classified, but I will tell you one thing that I want in particular: a urinal. I know that most females reading this will think that is a stupid idea, but think of how easy it would be to clean. No problem.

I have always struggled with urinals for one reason though, and that is the shape of them. It seems that urinals are made in a parabolic shape. Sure it is pleasing to the eye, but what a poor design! If you can recall back to your geometry days, a parabola has some unique characteristics. There is a point on the axis of symmetry, called the focus, which plays a big part in everyday applications of a parabola.

For instance, if you have ever watched a football game on TV and seen the guys holding a big dish with a microphone in it, you have seen this in effect. When sound waves enter the dish (which is a parabola), all the waves are redirected back at the microphone (which is at the focus), making it possible to hear player conversation from the sidelines. The same is true for a flashlight. The bulb is placed at the focus, and all the light waves bounce off the shiny parabola to send the light out in parallel waves to make a more intense beam. Here is an illustration:

As you can see, parabolas are great in real-life applications. A satellite dish is another example. Now, think back to the urinal, and imagine that you are standing at the focus of the parabola. That’s right! All of the pee will splash straight back out onto you! (refer to the figure) I told you it was a poor design!

I have good news for you though, my friends. A couple days ago, Kelly McCown and I were at Chevy’s restaurant and the urinals there were more practically made. No splash. Just relief. This is the type of urinal I want in my future house.

Now, I cannot prove that toilet companies actually made urinals in an exact parabolic shape, but I can tell you that they should have done a little more porcelain engineering. Hey, maybe that’s what I’ll major in…